C'est ici, où j'écris.

trust me, darling.

Alexander Hamilton

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

"The Man" is a slang phrase that may refer to the government or to some other authority in a position of power. In addition to this derogatory connotation, it may also serve as a term of respect and praise.
The phrase "the Man is keeping me down" is commonly used to describe oppression. The phrase "stick it to the Man" encourages resistance to authority, and essentially means "fight back" or "resist", either openly or via sabotage.[1]The earliest recorded use of the term "the Man" in the American sense dates back to a letter written by a young Alexander Hamilton in September 1772, when he was 15. In a letter to his father James Hamilton, published in the Royal Dutch-American Gazette, he described the response of the Danish governor of St. Croix to a hurricane that raked that island on August 31, 1772. "Our General has issued several very salutary and humane regulations and both in his publick and private measures, has shewn himself the Man."[2][dubious ] In the Southern U.S. states, the phrase came to be applied to any man or any group in a position of authority, or to authority in the abstract. From about the 1950s the phrase was also an underworld code word for police, the warden of a prison or other law enforcement or penal authorities.

I was writing a paper that had the term "the man" used in it as a metaphor that I was to analyze.  And so, I looked up the history behind it....and that's when he first became one of my heroes.

Then, this week especially with all of the homework I have to get motivated for, I've been on quite the rap kick.  My favorite type of kick.

So I didn't think life could get better after listening to Mobb Deep/Emancipators - Shook until I found Alexander Hamilton embodied in a rap song.  And then, it did.

God Bless America.

Lin-Manuel Miranda
[Verse 1]
How does a bastard, orphan, son of a whore
And a Scotsman, dropped in the middle of a forgotten spot
In the Carribbean, by Providence impoverished, to squalor
Grow up to be a hero and a scholar?
The ten-dollar Founding Father without a father
Got a lot farther
By workin' a lot harder
By bein' a lot smarter
By bein' a self-starter
By fourteen they had placed him in charge of the trade and charter
And every day while slaves were being slaughtered
And carted away across the waves
Our Hamilton kept his guard up
Inside he was longing for something to be a part of
The brother was ready to beg steal borrow or barter
Then a hurricane came and
Devastation reigned and
Our man saw his future drip drippin' down the drain
Put a pencil to his temple
Connected it to his brain
And he wrote his first refrain
A testament to his pain
When the word got around, they said, "This kid is insane, man!"
Took up a collection just to send him to the mainland
Getcha education, don't forget from whence you came
And the world is gonna know your name!
What's your name, man?

Alexander Hamilton. His name is Alexander Hamilton
And there's a million things he hasn't done
But just you wait. Just you wait

[Verse 2]
When he was 10, his father split
Full of it, debt-ridden
Two years later, see Alexander's mother, bed-ridden
Half-dead, sittin' in their own sick
The scent thick
And Alex got better but his mother went quick
Moved in with a cousin. The cousin committed suicide
Left him with nothin' but ruined pride
Somethin' new inside, a voice
Saying Alex, you gotta fend for yourself
He started retreatin'
And readin'
Every treatise on the shelf
There would've been nothin' left to do
For someone less astute
He would've been dead and destitute
Without a cent of restitution
Started workin'
Clerkin' for his late mother's landlord
Tradin' sugar cane and rum and other things he can't afford
Scannin' for every book he can get his hands on
Plannin' for the future, see him now
As he stands on the bow of a ship headed for a new land
In New York you can be a new man
The ship is in the harbor now
See if you can spot him
Another immigrant comin' up from the bottom
His enemies destroyed his rep, America forgot him
And me? I'm the damn fool that shot him

Alexander Hamilton
We were waiting in the weeds for you
You could never back down
You always had to speak your mind
But Alexander Hamilton, we could never take your deeds from you
In our cowardice and our shame
We will try to destroy your name
The world will never be the same, Alexander!

Yeah, I'm the damn genius that shot him


I Can Love, Enormously.

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Tonight it felt like yesterday.  It's moments like these that make me realize how beautiful it is to be a human.  And in these moments, I've never been more sure that I exist.  I've never felt more alive. 

I could feel the elements congregate around me to bear me up, holding my heart in place so as it wouldn't fall through my chest cavity. 

this song is the vehicle that transports me back to an unmarred, vivid event. I don't need a pensieve, like Dumbledore.  I have it better.
About /// Today

Words clicked and clucked.

Monday, October 29, 2012

  Maybe not today, or next year for that matter
will I hope that he sees this raw uncooked batter.
  These words of advice from someone much younger
not written to be labeled as one's power hunger.
  Instead I write because truth does exist,
I want to show him in poem, instead of using my fist. 
  Afterall he's a guy, human with pride and such
and its hard to change someone or convince them of stuff. 
  But I don't want to be accountable for not being brave
enough to transmit the truth to him via radio wave. 

Welp, sometimes I'm too serious for my own good, and sometimes I'm serious and its for my good. In this case, I plead the fifth. Hey look, I wrote a Ghazal.  Gah.  What's a Ghazal?  This is:

A short lyrical poem that arose in Urdu. It is between 5 and 15 couplets long. Each couplet contains its own poetic thought but is linked in rhyme that is established in the first couplet and continued in the second line of each pair. The lines of each couplet are equal in length. Themes are usually connected to love and romance. The closing signature often includes the poet's name or allusion to it.

Kiss You Forever

Friday, October 26, 2012

What are you passionate about?
  • Chobani Mango yogurt
  • my daily goals
  • massages
  • neuroscience
  • mesomorphs
  • Voltaire
  • Finding a social media issue for my upcoming 10 page paper that I want to dominate
  • writing
  • my music, as usual, because its flawless
  • buying some of my favorite clothes online, I didn't know I liked shopping until I discovered Amazon
  • my future career, because its awesome
  • America
I absolutely [love] this song.  Summertime in October? Yes, please. 

Poolside - Kiss You Forever

(their other stuff is worth looking at too)
together everyday
always every day
our world is a game

oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

I want to kiss you forever, forever, forever, forever yeah...
I want to kiss you forever, just want to kiss you forever.

Thursday, October 25, 2012

J'aime cet homme. Il n'est pas "l'homme universel" mais il a l'esprit.  Et l'esprit est quatre choses que on a besoin si tu veux exister.  Je voudrais exister, sourtout avec l'esprit comme lui. 

Have You Got It In You?

Friday, October 5, 2012

Yes, I do. 
And so do you. 

Imogen Heap - Headlock

No One Likes A Sequel.

Monday, September 17, 2012

Especially one involving my precious right leg.

     But it's true, I'll admit.  I can't deny this reality.  Life's started the hardness, pain, humiliation, and temporary damnation all over today. I'm reliving my nightmare, though it was once real life.  But I know I'll live through it.  It's not the end of the world, things will get better soon. Other people are going through harder things than me right now, and they too are hidden under a blanket in public. 
      I wonder what the guy sitting next to me at this BYU's computer lab is going through right now.  Maybe a death, maybe a break up, maybe a fight, or maybe absolutely nothing and his life is perfect and he is happy blah blah blah. 
        That's what we all tend to assume about everyone else, right?  Well people, 'tis false doctrine.  Now go smile at someone and do something nice for someone - who knows, you might just be what they need right now. 
       Like how I needed my mom's phone call a few minutes ago.  And how I need to go to class and love learning and ignore all dwellings on the pain and stares.
         Anyways, here's a confession: sometimes I write poetry.  It's what comes out of my thoughts and begs expression. Then I write it down/type it out/rap it to a nearby friend. Then it feels like I just sneezed the most satisfying sneeze.  That's called human expression people.  Its refreshing.  Even better than Lemonade.

9/17/12  Torn Leaf

Today I received news that changes my life
    The significance sinks in and blinds me with strife.
Does anyone know the importance of today?
    Of this stale blow of air that breathes hope away?
Not the man walking next to me or the girl walking by.
    While I’m clenching my bag firmly, not wanting to cry.

I can be strong. Is all that is said.
    over and over again in my head.

Lana Del Rey & Sami De Roi

Friday, August 17, 2012

    I love that both Lana Del Rey & I exist in the same generation.  Her songs could very well be my National Anthem.  (Although I don't recommend listening to that particular song, I've forgiven her for it and so should you).  I've had a really great week at work and in Arizona with my Man, freshly returned Best Friend, and my amazing Family.  To accompany this American dream that is my reality, my week's playlist is as follows: Off to the Races, Dark Paradise, Blue Jeans, Born to Die, Video Games, Radio, and of course some tracks from Sting, Metric, and Ellie Goulding. Thank you Lana Del Rey for your voice and your personal translation of life into music. 
Here's a free taste: 
 Off to the Races - Lana Del Rey

Voyage to France

Tuesday, July 31, 2012

IT WAS AMAZING, the French woman inside of me was finally liberated.   
Je t'aime France, et tout les choses françaises.
Chateau de Fontainebleau
Click here to view the Photo Album, Photo Book, and Website I created to document our voyage à Paris.  C'est s'appelle "Trop La Classe" parce que...c'était. 

Taking a Nap at our Hotel, "Salut Jet Laggation"

Bordeaux. "And then she suddenly became a peachy, glazed dessert."
I took this.  And this happened.  All are true. 

The Moulin Rouge.  I felt scandalous just taking a picture of it. 
The Eiffel Tower & I. I then realized that love can take building form. 
Sacre Coeur.  I can never spell heart right in French.  I must not have one. "Il  était bondé . Là, à l' église."

Gifted A Body

Friday, July 27, 2012

     My goal for this week was to do one creative thing a day whether it be write song lyrics, a poem, design and record a new style, or make art with photography.  Today, I decided to write a poem because its definition fits well with the circumstance.  Topher went into surgery this morning, the surgery we had all been anticipating, the surgery that is most abrasive to the body.  Topher's health has been bad enough so for him to go into this surgery made me nervous.  I've assisted with surgeries, shoot, I've done surgeries before and I know how invasive they can be and how damaging they are.  Topher's poor body.  Anyways, because of all this I fasted yesterday and felt loads better about it as I naturally should.  Thank you for the opportunity to use tools like fasting to bring faith, peace, and assurance.

  Here's L'Expression Créative Du Jour:

Le Poém, Les Corps Un Cadeaux

His frail body went into surgery today.
His tight muscles gripped, his skin fell away
Under the knife. His cells they would raid.
Invasive procedure with scalpel and blade.

Scared, apprehensive, worried: I won't be.
I fasted yesterday for this same surgery.
A healing will happen, as we once were told.
Now gifted a young body, that's no longer old. 

by Sami

dedicated to my brother, Topher

Here we are today, previewing the rocks in Fontainebleau, France before my rock climbing adventure - deux semaines.  I’m so stoked. You should be too. 
et voila:
Clubbed to Death - Rob Dougan  
Great Rock Climbing Song.

Angst in the Bones

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

3 Weeks and 4 Days
My bones are aching with angst. 

Happy Fathers Day

Sunday, June 17, 2012

I come home one night and experience one of those "good timing moments" that you never forget.  The speakers were playing full blast in the living room while my dad is lost in a world known as Rock & Roll, dancing, singing, and obviously grooving as the Bee Gees single-handedly pump him up for his date that evening.  
I get my dancing shoes from this man.  

Here's to you, my father, the greatest man on Earth: 

Happy Fathers Day.

Stop Loving Everything

Friday, June 1, 2012


Not today at least, it's been such a good day.  Why? Because I love a lot of things in my life right now.  Yes, I'm making another list people, it's what I do. 

The "Life, I'm Liking Loving You  As Well As These Other Things Right Now" List:
- rock climbing
- my friends Sasha, Danielle, Melanie, & Kristopher
- the muscles sprouting on my forearms
- music, particularly this song by The Botaniks feat. Bernhoft - Fond of Jane and this song by Usher - Climax
- my job and the women I work with, its nice to be surrounded by people older than you sometimes
- my iPhone
- yoga in the mornings
- relationship advice from the father, stepmum, & real mum. 
- crisp mountain air - Utah summers are incredible
- the great weather
- mechanical pencils
- Amazon prime
- Southwest Airlines - I leave for AZ tonight
- my next weeks layout: climbing e'ry day, sailing, Mexico con mi madre, & American Fork canyon climb w/friends
- my next 6 weeks plans: California w/Tori, a huge party, St. George lake trip, Zion's National Park, then off to Paris with Melanie!
- more hours at work = more money, we all love that green stuff
- General Conference talks in the morning
- my Book of Mormon, was so excited reading today
- clean laundry, warm bed, clean room, food in my cupboards, and rent, car, and speeding ticket are over and done with.
- random facebook messages from friends you haven't talked to since you were 15
- 6 more hours until I am done with work. 


Friday, May 25, 2012

Today I helped a frustrated medical doctor cook his lunch in a microwave. We are all truly humans. And I love my job.

Chalk Bag

Thursday, May 17, 2012

      So I'm really excited to start my new art project for the summer.  I've been needing a chalk bag for a while now for climbing and haven't been able to get myself to buy a $20 bag off of Amazon.  It's bloody expensive for such a simple object. Therefore, I'm taking it into my own hands and creating this goodness out of nothing...or out of some nylon straps, cording, fleece, and fabric. I got the pattern from another blog: The Handy Hippie. It's quite awesome, just like this Better Than Basic Chalk Bag design:

Here's the tune for the day by Wekeed - Wild Child.
We are all wild children.


LIPS - Everything To Me (Adventure Club Remix)

Business Time

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

I'm currently in the business for a good rock climbing buddy. My current one, Kerri, is moving away on Thursday. So please, step forward now and declare yourself a rock climber for my sake and buy a Quarry pass. Thanks.

I took a surprise trip to Mesa this weekend. I am too acquainted with the Salt Lake Airport. I'm there every other weekend flying to some form of sanctuary. Thank you Southwest, and mother.

enjoy this jem. and happy mothers day. 

Benny Benassi - Cinema (Skrillex Remix)


ALL while listening to this great summer kick off tune:

ah so good. 

Crab Wontons

Sunday, May 6, 2012

I like the science of food, I like Happy Sumo Sushi restaurant, I like trying new things. Introducing a Sushi restaurant inspired dish: Wontons. Other than setting the fire alarm off, everything went well, was pretty easy, and fast. Call it a kitchen success.

Here's a free Deadmau5 song:


Tuesday, April 24, 2012

My beautiful Nana's front yard.

     I couldn't admire anyone more than I do my Nana. She was one of the greatest souls on Earth that I was lucky to have as my Nana.  I have been visiting her a lot these past few months, spending time with just me and her,  and she passed away this past Friday in her Laguna home on the beach with my mother at her side. Saying I love you isn't quite enough to explain how I accurately feel.  I wanted her to meet and give me her opinion on my future husband, I wanted her at my wedding, to see and influence my future children.  I know she still will, but from the other side now. 

Memories from her life and time with her these past few months in Laguna:
"Great, great, great."
"Oh spit!"
Her favorite composer:  Bach, because he had many melodies wrapped into one song. 
Long walks on the beach
There was always a book an arms distance away from her. She loved literature, learning, and intellectual development. 
A few weeks back I asked her what year of her life was her favorite. Her favorite time in life was when she was 21. She had a convertible in California, went on dates every night, and was having the time of her life.  
Her ability to make friends with EVERYONE, EVERYWHERE we went. 
Her ability to identify and locate all of the best pastry shops in the area.
Sneaking us into movies with her.  
Breaking rules if they weren't logical to her.
Never having an insecure moment in her entire life.
Her vases of flowers, always being refilled with new arrangements.
Listening to her play the piano with a certain kind of love, like she understood the world of music like no one else.
Playing the guitar next to her on the beach watching the sun set and her saying, "Sami, that is really something great.  Keep it up."
Rubbing my back when I was sick. 
In the hospital, sharing her tray and her eating only the desserts. "I see you've only eaten the apple pie today...again."
The graceful way she looked at the world - like it was hers and she was its.  Like she was a queen who respected her dominion.
The nicknames that she gave to each person that was lucky enough to be close to her. Mine was Simisam. 
Her excitement of how the people of California take care of their streets, beaches, and land- making it beautiful with art, plants, and cleanliness.
Her inability to have a moment of boredom, always moving, doing something, visiting someone, going somewhere. 
Her genuine enthusiasm. Especially when you show her something you're excited about. 
Her fast and awesome driving, she never gave in to the effects age has on some people's minds. 
Sharing bowls of strawberries and whip cream with her every night before bed. 
Interesting, educational, and inspiring conversation...always. 
Her sarcastic sense of humor in all situations, especially when she was in pain. 
Her letting me dress her radiation wounds in the hospital, seeing the large dark blisters and boils on her neck, back, and chest that were slowly taking her life.
Most spontaneous person I know. I'm glad it has run in her childrens blood. 
Hard work.  Always the first one to give someone a hand, and forget her troubles - they were of least importance and she hated attention for any of them. 
Her love for her grandchildren, and making each of us feel like we were special. I am so lucky. 

Bike Riding With the Stars

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Midnight bike ride with my room mates. Its the last time we are together. We are each leaving to a different state, city, apartment, & house.
We've had some good times this semester, especially adventures with Kelly.  I'm going to miss these girls. We may never see each other again.
I'm used to change.  Its what I do.  But this time, I'm scared to turn the page to another chapter.
Thrown into the world again left to find valuable learning experiences to take home with me.
Home. Another thing missed.  The comfort, the people who know who I am, the people who automatically love me. I'm a lucky soul to have a great home.
I feel like a piece of my tissue is bottled in lovely Regina Spektor's song on Far, Genius Next Door.  Oh Regina, how do you translate your insides so flawlessly? I must know. 

Regina Spektor - Genius Next Door

You can find the sheet music for the piano HERE.
you can thank me later

Coffee Break

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

       In between the two essays I have to write today I decided to take a break.  It's only called a Coffee Break because that's the name of the rap song I decided to learn. It eases my mind amongst so much homework.  It's by Zeds Dead and Omar LinX.  Here's is what I have so far:

Coffee Break - Zeds Dead ft. Omar LinX
vs. 1
Yeah, woke up but I got to go back
Tell mama I ain't no slack
I'ma make it in this world
I'ma show you girl
I might fall but I ain't gonna tap

Just thought that I'd let you know
a couple things that I can't let go
I want it all
but I gotta make the call
to get this job and get this dough

Two sides to the same old story
no love in the game of greed
no time for border dreams
no time for me no time to breathe

But I ain't a quitter you should  g****** know better
make a _____________g****** go getter
I'ma take it to the top
If you thinkin' I'm not
you lost to a g******go-getter

vs. 2
Yeah, yeah I'm in today
I'm overworked and I'm underpaid
They taking off, I'm going late
they slackin' off, they coffee break.

But I've had enough and I want a raise.
& I know my cards, & I know the game
But I'm struttin' around like I own the place,
with my head up high like I know the way.

And I'm walking here so confident,
so devenir, so off the wind.
I am the man, that's not pretend
I could do it again if you're not convinced.

Cuz I know the deal:  it's do or die.
I'm Ron O'Neil
I'm Superfly
They see the boy, they know I grind.
I put it where they can't deny that.

Remember What You Deserve

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Why does the heart take so long to heal?  I often consider it's surgical removal for this very reason. 
Please, enjoy this and make today incredible.

Then, download this other great song by Mr. Angus and Julia:
Angus and Julia Stone - Big Jet Plane (Michael Brun Bootleg)

Laura and I

Mother and I



The party group, took a stroll through the partying town of El Fuerte.
We rode in these little aircrafts.

The Family and Best Friend

Gray Whales, I got to pet a few, they came right up to our boats.