C'est ici, où j'écris.

trust me, darling.


Tuesday, April 24, 2012

My beautiful Nana's front yard.

     I couldn't admire anyone more than I do my Nana. She was one of the greatest souls on Earth that I was lucky to have as my Nana.  I have been visiting her a lot these past few months, spending time with just me and her,  and she passed away this past Friday in her Laguna home on the beach with my mother at her side. Saying I love you isn't quite enough to explain how I accurately feel.  I wanted her to meet and give me her opinion on my future husband, I wanted her at my wedding, to see and influence my future children.  I know she still will, but from the other side now. 

Memories from her life and time with her these past few months in Laguna:
"Great, great, great."
"Oh spit!"
Her favorite composer:  Bach, because he had many melodies wrapped into one song. 
Long walks on the beach
There was always a book an arms distance away from her. She loved literature, learning, and intellectual development. 
A few weeks back I asked her what year of her life was her favorite. Her favorite time in life was when she was 21. She had a convertible in California, went on dates every night, and was having the time of her life.  
Her ability to make friends with EVERYONE, EVERYWHERE we went. 
Her ability to identify and locate all of the best pastry shops in the area.
Sneaking us into movies with her.  
Breaking rules if they weren't logical to her.
Never having an insecure moment in her entire life.
Her vases of flowers, always being refilled with new arrangements.
Listening to her play the piano with a certain kind of love, like she understood the world of music like no one else.
Playing the guitar next to her on the beach watching the sun set and her saying, "Sami, that is really something great.  Keep it up."
Rubbing my back when I was sick. 
In the hospital, sharing her tray and her eating only the desserts. "I see you've only eaten the apple pie today...again."
The graceful way she looked at the world - like it was hers and she was its.  Like she was a queen who respected her dominion.
The nicknames that she gave to each person that was lucky enough to be close to her. Mine was Simisam. 
Her excitement of how the people of California take care of their streets, beaches, and land- making it beautiful with art, plants, and cleanliness.
Her inability to have a moment of boredom, always moving, doing something, visiting someone, going somewhere. 
Her genuine enthusiasm. Especially when you show her something you're excited about. 
Her fast and awesome driving, she never gave in to the effects age has on some people's minds. 
Sharing bowls of strawberries and whip cream with her every night before bed. 
Interesting, educational, and inspiring conversation...always. 
Her sarcastic sense of humor in all situations, especially when she was in pain. 
Her letting me dress her radiation wounds in the hospital, seeing the large dark blisters and boils on her neck, back, and chest that were slowly taking her life.
Most spontaneous person I know. I'm glad it has run in her childrens blood. 
Hard work.  Always the first one to give someone a hand, and forget her troubles - they were of least importance and she hated attention for any of them. 
Her love for her grandchildren, and making each of us feel like we were special. I am so lucky. 

Bike Riding With the Stars

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Midnight bike ride with my room mates. Its the last time we are together. We are each leaving to a different state, city, apartment, & house.
We've had some good times this semester, especially adventures with Kelly.  I'm going to miss these girls. We may never see each other again.
I'm used to change.  Its what I do.  But this time, I'm scared to turn the page to another chapter.
Thrown into the world again left to find valuable learning experiences to take home with me.
Home. Another thing missed.  The comfort, the people who know who I am, the people who automatically love me. I'm a lucky soul to have a great home.
I feel like a piece of my tissue is bottled in lovely Regina Spektor's song on Far, Genius Next Door.  Oh Regina, how do you translate your insides so flawlessly? I must know. 

Regina Spektor - Genius Next Door

You can find the sheet music for the piano HERE.
you can thank me later