C'est ici, où j'écris.

trust me, darling.

Learning is Easy

Monday, November 18, 2013

Learning is hard. Especially when they are things that you think you don't need to learn, things you've felt like you've already learned, or things you simply don't want to learn.

Take my leg situation for example. I can't walk.  I think I haven't been able to walk before. Yes, around this same time last year I had a knee surgery.  I was alone in a state with no family or aware friends to care for me.  I had to keep my job - and try to work without pain meds.  I had to keep my grades up and attend all classes, tests, and activities going full time at school.  I had to perform fantastically despite not being able to sleep from the pain at night, and lack of food from not being able to make it to the grocery store.  I had to walk around a huge campus with crutches at 10mph in order to make it on time to my classes. But despite all of this, my head stayed afloat.  Yes I had a few breakdowns, cutting remarks from coworkers expecting more, a few unfair points docked from tests and papers, financial troubles from missed days at work, anxiety attacks from not moving my body like how I need to for weeks on weeks, bad hair days, and long nights.  But God knew everything. And I knew that, and I tried hard at meeting all demands and even harder at having faith in Him.

And that is what makes the biggest difference.

     This poem by Victor Hugo is the perfect ending to this perfect semester. I am truly humbled by this warm, and unexpected shower of blessings.

This is Kristopher and I last month at Laguna Beach <3>
Puisque j'ai mis ma lèvre à ta coupe encor pleine
Puisque j'ai mis ma lèvre à ta coupe encor pleine ;Puisque j'ai dans tes mains posé mon front pâli ; Puisque j'ai respiré parfois la douce haleine De ton âme, parfum dans l'ombre enseveli ;
Puisqu'il me fut donné de t'entendre me direLes mots où se répand le coeur mystérieux ;Puisque j'ai vu pleurer, puisque j'ai vu sourireTa bouche sur ma bouche et tes yeux sur mes yeux ;
Puisque j'ai vu briller sur ma tête ravieUn rayon de ton astre, hélas ! voilé toujours ;Puisque j'ai vu tomber dans l'onde de ma vieUne feuille de rose arrachée à tes jours ;
Je puis maintenant dire aux rapides années :- Passez ! passez toujours ! je n'ai plus à vieillir !Allez-vous-en avec vos fleurs toutes fanées ;J'ai dans l'âme une fleur que nul ne peut cueillir !
Votre aile en le heurtant ne fera rien répandreDu vase où je m'abreuve et que j'ai bien rempli.Mon âme a plus de feu que vous n'avez de cendre ! Mon coeur a plus d'amour que vous n'avez d'oubli !
Since I have set my lips to your full cup, my sweet, Since I my pallid face between your hands have laid, Since I have known your soul, and all the bloom of it, And all the perfume rare, now buried in the shade;   Since it was given to me to hear on happy while, The words wherein your heart spoke all its mysteries, Since I have seen you weep, and since I have seen you smile, Your lips upon my lips, and your eyes upon my eyes;   Since I have known above my forehead glance and gleam, A ray, a single ray, of your star, veiled always, Since I have felt the fall, upon my lifetime's stream, Of one rose petal plucked from the roses of your days;   I now am bold to say to the swift changing hours, Pass, pass upon your way, for I grow never old, Fleet to the dark abysm with all your fading flowers, One rose that none may pluck, within my heart I hold.   Your flying wings may smite, but they can never spill The cup fulfilled of love, from which my lips are wet;  
My heart has far more fire than you can frost to chill, My soul more love than you can make my soul forget 

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Fusing your soul with another person's soul is absolutely terrifying. 

-Sami Lynch

In Preparation:

1. Create the Magnet, and create it strong. 
- What am I creating in my own qualities, and my own character to attract what I want in a future relationship?
         -manners, civility, financial responsibility, common sense, dress, good taste, work ethic, pray, cooperate with others, communication skills, how to compromise, stay fit, our appearances, good humor, conversations, intelligence...etc
- What qualities do i want in my future companion?

2. Get the two great questions in life, and in the RIGHT order. 
1. where am I going?
2. who am I going with?

3. Begin your marriage like Adam and Eve began their marriage:
-both open with each other, and not ashamed and stayed open with each other
- Is there anything I have done that I would be ashamed to tell my spouse?

4. Expect to water camels (for the Girls), or Work seven years for a bride (for the guys). 

The Decision Making:

The 10 Commandments for Decision Making:
1. Don't make decisions based on fear.
-all of decisions made out of fear are always the wrong ones
-focus on the fruits of the promised land
2. The Lord won't make the decision for you, but a lot of people want him to.
-its a decision of preference, not necessarily because it is right. Because it could be.
3. Beware of demanding, and asking the fire of God.
4. Almost everyone gets cold feet, just expect it.
when you do, ask yourself this: Are you nervous about a specific thing, or about the whole idea of marriage?
5.  The time is rarely right. Focus on the person not the timing.
6. The name of the game is Courtship, not hanging out. (hanging out was invented by Lucifer)
7. It is possible that God can say "Yes" to one and "No" to another.
8. Be careful of the images of the world. (whats the key to a successful marriage? low expectations. Guys problem - with image expectations, Girls -
9. Ordinances and Covenants bring an increased spiritual maturity, that if they are not made, one can spiritually plateau.
10. There are more Davids than Josephs. -the bridling of passion is an expression of love.

Two Final Questions:

1. Are you in love with the person, and not the feeling? Love is a deep unity maintained by the will and distinct power for unity.
2. Will God seal an empty jar?